I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
