Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize