she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
