What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize