Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
