All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
