She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
