Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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