Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
