How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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