I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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