lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
