There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
