When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
