Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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