Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
