I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
