Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.

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(619): View more from California

you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top

Fav 18 1214 3190
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(404): View more from Georgia

you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

Fav 19 9776 1353
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(541): View more from Oregon

What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

(503): View more from Oregon

3some

(541): View more from Oregon

You're right, stupid question.

Fav 21 10794 1615
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(701): View more from North Dakota

and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.

Fav 6 1424 876
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(303): View more from Colorado

there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I'm pretty sure that's yours.

Fav 1 312 217
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(817): View more from Texas

I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...

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