Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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