i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize