You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
