Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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