whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
this is an emotional support booty call
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
