I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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