If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
