There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
