You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
