I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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