But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
