First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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