i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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