she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize