Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
