how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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