what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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