I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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