I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
