i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
