is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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