Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
