Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry zinnwu hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

Capitaan dildo arrescate!

Fav 40 2469 814
share tweet
(901): View more from Tennessee

god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.

Fav 29 5247 1860
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.

Fav 26 6475 1325
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.

Fav 6 4066 1029
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.

Fav 12 3355 1183
share tweet
(405): View more from Oklahoma

Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance

Fav 6 1986 1284
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(337): View more from Louisiana

The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth

Fav 14 2911 1116
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(848): View more from New Jersey

We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.

(848): View more from New Jersey

A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.

Fav 3 1792 883
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(213): View more from California

I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick

Fav 0 78 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT