Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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