I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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