Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize