is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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