he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize