Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
