i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
