I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
