At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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