Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize