paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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