some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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