I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
