Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
