@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
