I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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