He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
