No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
