i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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