Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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