we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize