The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just found a bag of teeth...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
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