I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
