i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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