I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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